I am pretty embarrassed about this particular installment and am still confused as to why I even added it to the list. I guess it's because I know myself too well. I am always trying to make everything epic by hyping things up way beyond they're supposed to be. One of the methods I usually use to make things is exciting is making pretty outlandish bets. Normally, I never have to worry about the outcome of the bet because I never lose. I always make sure it's a pretty much sure thing before I extend the bet to my victim. Alas, this time it was I who had to own up to my shortcomings. For fantasy football this year, my cousin Michael and I created a league together hoping to make things interesting during the football season. On the last game of the season we met in an epic battle as we jockied for position in the coming playoffs. So, to make things interesting I extended a bet to Michael knowing that I would probably win. The loser would have to wear a penguin suit to our annual family function of 5 dollar night at the mall. Every year our families meet at the mall and everyone gets 5 dollars to go to any store and get the coolest thing for the 5 bucks. This is a fairly respected event that people dress up for and it would be a huge deal to have to show up in a penguin suit. The day of our match came and I was glued to the results of every down of every play to make sure that I won and avoided the penguin suit. Alas, at the end of the day I did not come out as the victor and ended up having to show up in the suit. Upon arriving at the mall I went with my head held high and decided I wasn't going to be afraid and that I would embrace my new webbed feet and pointy beak for the evening. However, mall security had other plans for me. If you have ever seen Paul Blart mall cop, you can understand where the gentleman who tried to arrest me was coming from as he thought he was prrrettttyyyy cool with his plastic badge and can of mace. Officer chump as I like to call him came up to me and got his face all up in my beak and asked me what I was doing. As I was holding a sign stating "I LOST AT FANTASY FOOTBALL"
I thought it was obvious of why I was doing what I was doing. Hence, I mouthed off to Officer chump. He didn't think that my words of encouragement about his current status as a rent-a-cop were very nice and he attempted to escort me to the prison that they have at the mall. No joke, they really do have a mini prison at the mall. I always envisioned myself in this sort of situation as being stalwart and true to my cause and not going down without a fight, I definitely was not. I gave in and left the mall and removed my suit like a pansy and continued on with 5 dollar night dressed as a civilian. It was a pretty funny outcome to an already embarrassing night. I think that from this experience I will make sure in the future to be more mindful of the odds when I make a bet and always make sure they are strongly in my favor. Fun thing to check off the list.
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